Dear friends and readers,
The last few weeks I have published some pretty heavy duty articles, mostly because the world is speeding toward some pretty heavy duty stuff. Frankly, I'm sick of it and need a break. How about you? Tomorrow is another day so I think it high time to lighten the load.
This week I am posting some just good ole fashioned country humor and wisdom and I hope you can kick back and join me in a chuckle or two. I wish I could take credit for all of it as original think but the truth is I have gleaned it all from a combination of personal experience and other folks writings all the way back to 1955. ENJOY!
Country speak!
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If at first you don't succeed, try raising rabbits.
You don't miss the water till half the Alka Seltzer is hung in yer throat!
Grave marker in the country---"I TOLL YA I WAS SICK"!
A fella can't tell how happy he will be in twenty years until he meets his father in law.
A fancy title is about as useful as a curl in a pigs tail.
If wishes was horses some folks would need a lot of hay.
Life is like juggling a pitch fork---everyone knows when you mess up.
Whatever the illness, time and good coffee is the best cure.
A fella can kill himself with a fork and spoon.
Little pigs make big hogs!
Some fellas have more wishbone than backbone.
The only thing worse than finding a worm in yer apple is finding half a worm.
No jackass ever got ahead by kicking up his heals every night.
Don't even try to hold onto a barn cat against his will.
A clinging vine can choke a body.
Divorce chances the tire. A good marriage fixes the flat.
Some city folks think a square meal is a sandwich.
Country wisdom
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Don't look for a ship to come in if you never sent one out!
Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.
Your only as good as your last time at bat.
Christians often keep convictions to themselves because they don't have enough heat in them to make a blaze.
Obstacles are those terrible things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
If you are too busy to pray you are too busy.
In too many cases a home is a place to go until something important comes up.
A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.
Co-operation solves many problems; A bunch of freckles would be a nice coat of paint if they could just get together.
The unpaid service you render to someone else only yields reward if you don't mention it.
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
Moderation in temper is good but moderation in principle ruins a man.
Not live and let live but live and help live.
Age gives one person wisdom another bad temper.
A man wrapped up in himself makes a pretty small package.
My enemies are my friends who don't yet know me.
The world needs people with more WILL power, not won't power.
A person cannot always be a hero but he can always be a man.
If absence makes the heart grow fonder there are a lot of folks who really love the church.
The church is full of willing people. Some are willing to work and the others willing to let them.
Prayer is not a last extremity but a first necessity.
It's not where you are but what you are that determines your happiness.
Fear always produces the very thing it is afraid of.
A man who leads without himself leading others is no leader at all.
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; A sense of humor to console him for what he is.
Character is what you really are. A reputation is what others think you are.
A conversation without thought is mere gossip.
It's not the size of a dawg in a fight that counts, it's the size of the fight in the dawg.
The measure of a man is the size of the thing that gets his goat.
OFFICIAL The external nomenclature of a cow: 2 lookers, 2 hookers, 4 stander uppers, 4 hanger downers and 1 swishy ishy.
Have a great country afternoon folks
Pastor Rance.
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